


Insatiable

by crywalker



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-20
Updated: 2020-03-20
Packaged: 2021-02-28 18:26:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,331
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23231665
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crywalker/pseuds/crywalker
Summary: Bucky's memories tend to come back to him in waves: a smell, a touch, a song.Bucky still remembers the song he first danced to with Steve, in their apartment in the dark, in the dead of winter; when Steve was afraid to look into Bucky's eyes, when they held each other at 3am. When he held Steve, warm, hard in his hand; when Steve shuddered and Bucky held him and Steve moaned into his shoulder.That was another lifetime. And yet, somehow, it feels the exact same.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers
Comments: 2
Kudos: 35





	Insatiable

**Author's Note:**

> This whole social distancing thing is leaving me with lots of time to finish all the little pieces of fics sitting around in my phone's notes and assorted notebooks, lol. Hmu on tumblr @ wheretfisbucky. Hope y'all enjoy. :)

Bucky's memories tend to come back to him in waves: a smell, a touch, a song.

Bucky still remembers the song he first danced to with Steve, in their apartment in the dark, in the dead of winter; when Steve was afraid to look into Bucky's eyes, when they held each other at 3am. When he held Steve, warm, hard in his hand; when Steve shuddered and Bucky held him and Steve moaned into his shoulder.

That was another lifetime. Before Bucky was hardened by seventy years of killing and Steve was frozen and hurled through time. Before they became heroes, before they were separated for so long. And yet, somehow, it feels the exact same.

They're taking things slow. They both agreed it was probably best not to jump back into what they both had, considering it was secretive and dysfunctional in the first place. Bucky wonders if it hurt Steve the way it hurt him, if Steve wants it, if Steve _lusts_ for what they once had the way Bucky does. It's been consuming him for months, but he doesn't want to scare Steve away, and he's gotten really good at hiding how he feels over the past seventy years, when no one gave a fuck whether he was in pain or not.

They've been going through the motions, progressing from hugging to hand holding to sleeping in the same bed. Steve kissed him earlier today. Bucky wanted to say 'I love you' but he kept it to himself. Too soon.

Bucky's eyes shoot open. He can't possibly go to sleep. It was bad enough when he was in his own room, the memories swirling around in his head and leaving him restless. But now, in Steve's bed- which smells like Steve, by the way- with Steve sleeping right next to him, watching Steve's eyelashes flutter as he dreams? It’s torture.

He creeps out of the bed, or tries to, but when the winter soldier was (mostly) wiped from his head, so were the stealth skills he had, like some kind of powerful ninja. He trips trying to get out of bed, landing on his face with his foot still tangled in the sheets. He tries not to make a sound, but he hears Steve sit up and let out a groan.

"Buck? Y'okay?" Steve's voice is slurred from sleep. Bucky's heart aches, among other things.

"Yeah Steve, m'fine," he mumbles, sighing, and he's not sure if Steve heard him, but he's turning on the lamp and climbing out from under his nest of blankets, walking around to help Bucky up. Damn, he’s strong. Bucky still isn’t used to it, thinks maybe he never will be. Sweet, scrappy, scrawny little steve somehow grew up to be one of America's mightiest heroes. It’s incredible, but if it was gonna be someone, of course it’s him.

Steve is staring, head tilted and brows furrowed. Bucky looks down and realizes what he's looking at. "O-oh, I'm sorry. I was j-just heading to the bathroom."

The hooded look in Steve's eyes reminds him of the first time they kissed. Bucky had popped a boner then, too; he's never had self-control when it comes to Steven Grant Rogers. He can still see it in vivid detail; he and Steve standing just outside the door to their apartment, Steve’s fingers clutching a ripped envelope, his hands shaking. Bucky taking his hand- not knowing what else to say or do- leaning in and kissing him softly. Steve absolutely melting into the kiss, hands gripping Bucky’s shoulders, the envelope fluttering to the floor. Bucky chuckling, and gently suggesting that they go inside before someone saw.

Steve is looking at him in his eyes now, and it seems like he’s remembering. It feels like he’s seeing right into Bucky.

“You don’t have to,” he says simply with a raised eyebrow. Bucky’s kind of overly focused on that snarky look. He remembers where he’s seen it before.

 _“I’m so damn happy you’re okay,”_ Steve was panting, _“Fuck, I thought you were dead, Buck.”_

His best friend had looked at him with raised eyebrows and an open mouth. _“The mouth on you, Rogers! That serum didn’t just change your body, huh?”_

And Steve had given him that mischievous look with that one raised eyebrow as he rode Bucky in a dark corner on the train, Bucky struggling with what to do with his hands, wishing he could touch all of Steve at once. Steve’s communication device had broken, and so they were forced to take the scenic route back to base after Captain America’s first heroic rescue, but Steve and Bucky certainly weren’t complaining.

“No?” Bucky takes a cautious, albeit stumbled step in the dim light towards his partner in crime. Steve doesn’t look away from those blue eyes as Bucky moves into his personal space. He shakes his head.

“I’ve been dreaming ‘bout ya, Rogers.” Steve’s eyes widen momentarily, a ghost of a smile on his face.

“Yeah?” he asks right in Bucky’s face, breath washing over his lips.

It’s true. He dreams of other things sometimes, his mother, his sister, his childhood home, but it seems that despite everything he’s been through, his subconscious is content to constantly spit up images of Steve Rogers- images of all kinds. The previous night’s was particularly vivid. Bucky, on his back on a bed, while big, broad Steve sits on his chest and feeds Bucky his big, thick cock. He shudders just thinking about it. “Shit, yeah, Steve,” he breathes out.

Steve’s lips are on his. Steve’s fingers are in Bucky’s hair and Bucky wants to pinch himself, to determine if this is real. It’s not a dream? Not a memory? Not a fantasy? But then Steve’s biting and sucking his neck and he can definitely feel that, it’s definitely real.

Steve is mumbling into his neck. Bucky can’t hear him, but he doesn’t care, too lost in the feeling. Steve’s always been that way, running his mouth in bed, for as long as Bucky can remember.

_“Oh my God, Bucky, that feels so good, baby, please, oh wow, I love you so much, I’ve never loved anyone like this, geez, I’ve never felt anything like this, and oh, oh, I don’t know what I’d do without ya, Buck, ‘cause you’re everything to me, everything- and ohhhh, Bucky, that’s so-”_

Bucky pushes Steve off of him, dropping to his knees and grinning up at Steve, who goes ahead and pushes his boxers down to his knees for Bucky, who pulls them the rest of the way off. He sighs in pleasure when Bucky dives right in, taking the head of Steve’s cock into his mouth, humming around him. He’s looking Steve in the eye as he takes more of him in, and he’s never wanted to say ‘I love you’ more than he has in this moment, but the look in Steve’s eyes tells him that yeah, _he gets it,_ and so Bucky doesn’t need to say it. He just puts all his focus into making Steve feel good until he cums in Bucky’s mouth, running his mouth like always, absolute filthy nonsense pouring out of his mouth. Serum or not, Bucky Barnes could always take Steve apart so easily. Just like that.

_“I love you, Bucky.”_

Steve had pulled off of Bucky’s dick, spluttering, breathing so hard that it worried Bucky a bit, to say these words. His face was red and smeared with drool, his wild eyes zeroed in on Bucky. He didn’t wait for a reply, just dove right back in blonde bangs spilling over his eyes, and there were tears in Bucky’s eyes as he caressed Steve’s hair and told him he loved him too.

Bucky’s memories come back to him in waves; bits and pieces of the past century or so that get lost in his head sometimes, but at the forefront of those is always the same: loyal, caring, ride-or-die, fucking _his_ Steven Grant Rogers.

**Author's Note:**

> Nbr stay safe, loves, stay inside if you can, there's lots of fics to read while we're bored out of our minds, haha. Leave a comment please uwu


End file.
